The question that made me cringe

Before they could have possibly sufficiently admired my newborn son's little toes and staggering number of dimples, everyone from my extended family to the greeter at Wal-mart had to ask:

"Is he a good baby?"

Even as a new mom, I was given to understand that this term was defined as an infant who rarely cried (or only with a specific, easily deciphered reason) and slept for long--nighttime--stretches with little complaint.

Neither of my babies fit this description by a long shot.


They howled and waved their irate little fists around the clock for five to six months apiece (thank God they weren't twins). They--all of us--suffered from reflux and colic and general dissatisfaction with life outside the womb.

But they were my babies. They were beautiful. They were wonderful. But they were not good babies. At least not for a while.

We paid our dues and were rewarded handsomely. Today, I can honestly say my one- and two-year-old are the least-likely people on the planet to make me want to pull my hair out. Ninety percent of my time with them is pure pleasure. The other ten is, well, what makes this blog interesting.

But I have heard anectdotally that this mythical "good baby" creature does exist. Lots of them, in fact, including my four-month-old great-nephew.

This little guy was a recent house guest of my dad's. And since it's been a good 27 years now since my dad spent a night under the same roof as a crying, demanding infant, I was dying to know how it went.

"Actually, he was pretty well behaved," Dad said.

"Behaved?"

He didn't understand the question, which seemed obvious to me. Didn't behavior connote that there was discipline involved?, I thought. A four-month-old does not know how to behave or misbehave. It's a personality thing; you can't control it, my inner-voice reassured.

I did not pursue the conversation beyond a cursory, "Humph, interesting."

I don't think my dad was criticizing me for having poorly behaved babies; it was more of a terminology/generational disconnect. From what I've heard, I wasn't such a prize newborn myself.

The blogosphere has been buzzing lately with the notion of Bad Mommies--a topic I'll broach another time (with just a quick mention now that we're all learning on the job, just something for judgey nonparents to keep in mind). But today, I'd like to let out a big rally cry for BAD BABIES.

Yay, BAD BABIES!! You are worth every bit of hell you put us through and more.